generallyanxious.com

Perfectionism and Pressure, by R.F. – www.anxietynetwork.com/rf.html

Nobody can be perfect, and besides, there is no “perfect” way of doing anything. I just do things and no longer try to do them perfectly.

It’s a good thing to print out and keep with you. That’s what I did.

I will become homeless.

When I was in school, I feared I would fail out, not be employable, and end up destitute.

As I got older, I transferred that to the working world. I was frequently fearful I’d lose my job – and end up HOMELESS – even after getting married and living in a household with a double income.

Over time, I have gotten better about telling my husband when I feel anxious. And he is good about continuing that conversation, asking questions, CHALLENGING my thoughts. Here is an example of one very memorable conversation we had:

ME: “I feel anxious.”

HUSBAND: “Why?”

ME: “I don’t know. I guess I’m worried about work.”

HUSBAND: “Why are you worried about work?”

ME: “I don’t know. I guess I’m afraid I’m going to lose my job.”

HUSBAND (without hesitating): “OK, what would happen if you lost your job?”

ME: “Uh, I guess that would make me so anxious I wouldn’t be able to get a new job.”

HUSBAND: “OK, what would happen then?”

ME: “Well, I guess eventually we’d have to sell my car.”

HUSBAND: “OK, then what?”

ME: “We’d have to sell the house.”

HUSBAND: “OK, so where would we live then?”

ME: “I guess we’d be homeless.”

HUSBAND: “OK, so you’re saying you could single-handedly put our family on the street?”

ME: “Yes, I guess so.”

HUSBAND: “Well you know we’d have the most pimped-out shopping cart on the block. I’d put in surround sound.”

ME: “And I’d make a little hobo bag for our dog – tie a bandana to the end of a stick and fill it with his favorite toys.”

Do you see what my husband did here? When I told him my delusional thoughts, he didn’t discount me by saying “WHAT?! YOU’RE CRAZY! THAT’S RIDICULOUS!” Instead, he challenged me by asking “What next?”. That forced me to step through my thoughts, making me realize on my own how unrealistic my thoughts were.

Anxiety Network – www.anxietynetwork.com

Look: there are even different kinds of anxiety! This is a great resource for anxiety sufferers, offering definitions of different types and links to resources such as books, CDs and mantras. There are so many reassuring quotes on this site, I can’t list them all! But be sure to check out Coping Statements for Anxiety. Also, see if this brings you comfort (source: A Personal Note to People with Anxiety from Dr. Richards…):

You may be someone who thinks that you’re the only one in the whole wide world with these horrible anxiety symptoms.

Without exaggerating, many millions of people in the world at this very given moment are going through exactly the same horror and trauma that you are experiencing. It is helpful to know that you aren’t the only one going through the painful anxiety disorder that you currently experience.